It's Complicated and I hate it

I am not in a good mood. I feel that I am lack of love and rest. Frankly, I need something cuddling and a warm massage. In a time like this, the past of me came into my mind. Two years ago, I have been dating with my dear and it was sweet like lollipop. After a few years, distance by location, we intend to be lost contact, lack of communication and desire of let go something that precious in our life is getting high. Maybe it just me or I am not use to be lonely like this. The situation getting complicated nowadays. A guy can say He will be by your side every moment and the fact is he is so far away and the promise of being together soon is just a piece of sweet talks. Never say the thing that beyond your expectation. Do not give hope to a girl especially like me. I put in so much hope until up to the level of 'fed up'. Why are we crash in love when it ended with hates and frustration?

Sometime I ask myself, how does it feel to be someone who is single and available? Married? How does it feel? Single but not available? For how long? Is it really makes you happy? What do you feel living together with someone you love and suddenly you realize that he is gone forever? Life has been always unfair and I wish I can control all of these. God is great. Yes, and we all are failure. Human can buy a house, a car, or a PhD. But, are you happy with the human creation? We still seek for happiness, when we are stress at work, we need relaxation which we cannot buy. Just like women on diet. She want to get the slim figure back, buy those slimming tea is easy, but we cannot buy motivation to be slim. Did you get me. This is what happen to my life lately. I have been thinking and stressing about all of the sudden change in my life. Nevertheless, I would like to take this opportunity to wish you a blessed lent season.