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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I need an explanation

Dear..
I'm just a girl with a tiny heart..
Searching for a little love from you..
I never asked you to climb the mountain..
Or swim into deep blue sea to be with me..

I need your hand to walk through this life..not hope only..
No matter what happen I always want you to be in my heart..

But Today.
You hurt me again.
Why should you care her more than me?
Why should you sleep late while talk to the phone with her?
And contact her early in the morning? And I was the third?
Your particular friend might be happy reading this.
I thought we are tired enough having so much fun these days?

To the couple out there,
What do you feel when you found out the person he/she contact in the morning was not you?
Other girl/boy? Who he/she always contact and always be the issue of conflict between you two?
And the fact that you know they were old crush in schools?
What actually you normally do? Give chances even thousand apologize and forgiveness given?
I thought the past is past. Can I get back with my old crush too?

God,
Please give me the strength, I am weak and I had enough of sorrow days..
Send me an angel or a better one or the correct person.

Girllyen - Emotionally abuse


We
This picture was taken on 2nd of May..See how happy I am when you with me?
No more
And my heart broken again today. Luka belum baik, jahitan terbuka lagi balik..

A true friend is always be the bestfriend.. I would like to say big thanks to Paris for being such an understanding and very mature advisor, Inden for crying shoulder, Eleanor for supporting me, Vanessa who always be there when I need and you all who never let me down even I am not always good in keeping contact.
Anyhow.. I will go on till the end.. just like the song by Breaking Benjamin (lyric below) Even I cried the whole nite..i will go on until the end..
Breaking Benjamin - Until The End
So clever, whatever, I’m done with these endeavors
Alone I’ll walk the winding way .. here I stay
It’s over, no longer, I feel it growing stronger
I live to die another day, until I fade away
Why give up? Why give in?
It’s not enough, it never is
So I will go on until the end
We’ve become, desolate
It’s not enough, it never is
But I will go on until the end

Surround me, it’s easy, to fall apart completely
I feel you creeping up again .. in my Head
It’s over, no longer, I feel it growing colder
I knew this day would come to end, so let this life begin
Why give up? Why give in?
It’s not enough, it never is
So I will go on until the end
We’ve become, desolate
It’s not enough, it never is
But I will go on until the end

I’ve lost my way
I’ve lost my way
But I will go on until the end
Living is, hard enough, without you f@#king up

Why give up? Why give in?
It’s not enough, it never is
So I will go on until the end
We’ve become, desolate
It’s not enough, it never is
But I will go on until the end
I’ve lost my way
I’ve lost my way
But I will go on until the end
The final fight, I win
The final fight, I win
The final fight, I win
But I will go on until the end
Uncover
Cover up
Wargh so ugly! Hahaha.. (ok this picture may cheer me up ;)

25 comments:

Eleanor said...

Girl..You'll be okay though the moment seems very hard to live through.What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Hang in there.. Hang in there.. Remember the time when I was going through the same phase? You were there to listen. I would do the same for you. I would not only listen, I'll even kick her a** if you need me too. lol.

Now, cheer up as you have far greater things surrounding you.

Koojack said...

wat happen sudah ni...anyway...b strong....I know u will....

tompok-susan said...

aduh girl..sy sedih baca post ko ni kali...huhuhu...be strong ah girl...

Anonymous said...

DERRICK: girl be strong. we love you :) .... everything is gonna be alright.. trust me. just need some time to fix all these.

Andrea said...

Girl..be tough!..This post really make me sad...cuz i been thru this kind of probs before.. i'm not deny that it is really hard for me to face the fact that he care somebody more than me...what i did was..i prayed to HIM...Cuz He knows us better than anything..and i kept in my mind that HE loves me more than anyone in this world...
I know u can face it...:)....CHiayo! Chiayo!

Carmelliny said...

sabar ko Girl..

i n d e n said...

girl :)

*hugs* i envy u. i dunno how u manage to do all those stuff u do. u complaint and u cried but yet u achieved tremendously! you've been tougher situation girl, this is less compared to what u've been thru. Let's just put it that way.

Anyhoos, dont give up yet okies. everything happens for a reason. but if shiet happens, it either make u or break u! shoulder is always here! when i was down u were there to listen to me whine and curse etc etc (celupar mulut sia heheehe)

*hugs* cheer up cos i know u'll eventually be FINE!

p.s: oh yes. i heart my retardees too! :)

.xx.

cornelia charladine said...

i like it when u wrote " i thought the past is past".

somehow, we hate it when ppl around us were still CLINGING ON TO THEIR FCKIN PAST and kinda stagnating without any possible advancement.

cheer up girl. u need a short vacay',and huggssss from all of us.. :)

Girllyen 'TM' said...

Eventually..Love hurts.. I tried and try to understand everything. I try to accept that man should have their own space. I try not to put much concern on their friends. But, my heart didn't work well today. My heart says, it's wrong but my mind says it's fine, again, I can't stop my heart beating...

Mell (tsm4) said...

wahh Girl... hahahah (jaat oh sa ketawa duluan kan?)... apparently, girls are a lot stronger than most boys in terms of relationship. hahah bah kalau masi bulih kasi fix tu relationship, better be. jgn jadi mcm tu urg yg sudah tulis will tuh. "if i died, i died alone... happily" wakakakak.

ok ok... no suicidal thought ah! hahaha

Claire Cassandra T said...

Doih girl...just be strong..sabar kio~

Qhris said...

:hugs: i know u hurt so much deep in yr heart...tp i know u oso strong girl! let yr mind lead u in any decision ah...bukan senang coz our fragile heart yg will always overcome our mind...

tp c merl tu ba kan ...mcm love experts sja ni haha

Mell (tsm4) said...

wahahah ui napa nih mo mention2 nama sa? hahaha

tapi kan Girl, cantik tu gambar heart-broken ko. sa pun mo buat oh tapi teda model mo begambar sma sa. hahahah (truely arts-lover baini, nampak gambar cantik, misti mo ikut try... ahhaha).

Girllyen 'TM' said...

hihih.. mel.. u make my day.. seriusly.. i think i will fall on to u.. wargh.. mati la ko.. :p

laling.. sometime.. bila kita terlalu serius pun susah kan.. sya mau cari lain la ni.. macam si mel.. wakakak! :p

ps: ui tulung sya.. sya mau bunuh diri..

Mell (tsm4) said...

err... duii dont do that! kasi tau dlu sa mana ko simpan ko punya D90... sa mo waris... WAHAHAHAHAA

Girllyen 'TM' said...

hahahaha.. D90 sya? erm.. sya kira mau derma sma si kuai.. hahaha.. ko ada sony sudah kan.. akaka..~

Mell (tsm4) said...

duii... si kuaikuai ada suda tu 1000D (another dslr yg dlm list sa suka). malas sa jln2 sma dia di sabah fest ari tu. masi bau kadai kamera dia hahahahah (jeles bah ni).

Girllyen 'TM' said...

Heee.. ooo.. Canon 1000D aah.. erm.. how about Nikon D60? Ekeke.. mel.. tanpa disedari.. u make me smile here.. hahaha.. wargh.. sya lupa bawa D90 today.. ada gambar bagus tadi.. chiez..

Mell (tsm4) said...

hahah i read a review saying that Alpha 350, 1000D sama D60 dlm range yg sama. but i only like a350 sama 1000d. then D90, D300, 450D sama all the latest canon punya Mark series. anyway sa bukan pakar psl camera.. hahah tu camera sa bawa ari2 pii office ni. teda juga mo gambar apa2. tapi kalau teda bawa, banyaaaaak yg cantik2 mo gambar ni...

Anonymous said...

I know it’s hurt, that’s what we called life is not always colorful, but could you please just let him go (keep away from him from now on, don’t say anything to him and stopped to think of him).

You deserved for a better man who will appreciate you more than him, isn’t? He is not the only guy in this world, and believes me you will find someone MORE better and caring.

One more thing Girl, could you just picture your life with the guy who is the one that can’t even stick to only “ONE RELATIONSHIP”? He might have another affair with another lady/woman/girl??? Who knows? You should feel lucky, because you and he haven’t got married yet…;)

Wish you all the best, this is the best time for you to come up with a new resolution…

p/s: i wish i could help Eleanor too, kick that "VERY GATALAN LADY" (i hope she will face the same thing for what she have done)

Fharelynne said...

Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that?

You go Girl! Things happened for a reason. Dont cry! he doesnt deserve ur sweet tears..Hugss

Anonymous said...

gee, fyi what ever happen is create by HIM and HE want u 2 know that without ur dear around, we still LOVE u and HE WANT U TO KNOW THAT , smile girl coz u r the 1 , SMILE HAPPY

Girllyen 'TM' said...

:) Senyum lebar.. I should give more smile and be positive~! Yes. Girllyen is back! ;)

::Sarah:: said...

As they say,"Live must Go on". I understand your situation coz I've been there. So, I know you are much more stronger than that.

Go out there and explore. There lots of thing to be discover and I hope there is a kind-hearted and caring angel would love you and care for you.

*hugs*

Girllyen 'TM' said...

Thank u sarah! Muuuah! ;)